What’s in a Name?

If there’s one word I’m going to remember from 10th grade Biology its “binomial nomenclature.” I know, I know, that’s two words but work with me here. Basically it’s the system for naming plants and animals using Greek or Latin, assigning a genus and species. Thank you Mr. Fellows.

Regardless of whether or not you care about the biological community’s uber organized system, I think we can all agree we like to name things. Men name their cars. Women name children they haven’t even conceived. Kids name their stuffed animals. People name mountains, roads, buildings, bodies of water, bowling balls, cartoon characters, pets, imaginary friends, alternate personas, rocks, computers…the list goes on. Instead of describing the thing we’ve just discovered or made or imagined or conceived we give it a name. It’s gotta be a good one, too. It usually carries meaning, whether in the actual description of the item (i.e. “Green Mountain) or something that has a more abstract connection, like naming a car ‘Sabrina’ after your first girlfriend or a feeling/perceived relationship like ‘Buddy’ the dog. I’ve heard some crazy names and I’m sure you have, too. I’m not sure why we name things, other than making it easier to reference the object/being in question. Perhaps we’re trying to attribute a human characteristic to something that would otherwise be an inanimate deaf ear. Now that it has a name, we can talk to it, complain to it, encourage it….oh my, this is getting creepy.

All these things come into play when traveling oversees.

First of all, I can’t read everything that has already been named. Correction: I basically can’t read anything. To me, it looks like nothing  has been named and therefore it is up to me to finish the task.

Secondly, Japan doesn’t like to name things…like…I dunno…ROADS! Within a 10 mile radius of my town, Funehiki, there are a grand total of 3 roads that have names: Road 288, road 172, and road 19.

Boring.

You go through town and there are no street signs or street names…ever.

I even asked my Japanese friend who has a car if it is difficult to navigate without street names and she said yes…you just have to learn where everything is. If you get directions from someone they will include markers, names of buildings, etc. I later saw her driving with a GPS.

There are so many alleys and back streets and streets that look like driveways, I’m sure I would be royally lost in my own backyard.

Now, us Americans, the gaijin, like to go out…a lot. We go out to eat at least once, usually twice a week. We go to the grocery/dollar store at least twice a week. Someone usually goes to the home store and other grocer. Then there’s the frequently visited daifuku shop (a kind of yummy dessert), the eki (train station), the schools, and recently discovered Sanki (Kohl’s, only better and cheaper). These are all in different directions and on different roads. Of course there are different ways to get to all of these places, too…keep that in mind. When someone learns of a new place they have to give directions, and the only way to do it is to say, “You know that road that goes over the river? I mean the one with the blue bridge, not the blue bridge with the yellow footbridge. You take a left on that road, then when you get to the main road that FunePa is on (I mean the front of FunePa) you take a right, pass the daifuku shop and before you get the car dealership you take a left….it’s past the post office. Remember that one time that me and you and so-and-so went to that one Izakaya in the white house by the Pachinko? Yeah, that’s the road.  “

It’s annoying, for sure.

Okay, you get the idea. Let’s not forget the back roads/alleys/bridges we use everyday. Much more fun to try and describe those. So, with the lack of naming happening in Japan, we have brought more Western ideas across the ocean and started naming a few things. We’re quite inventive.

The alleyway that is always crossed with invisible sticky webs during the summer was commonly called “Spider Alley” but recently named “Sunshine Alley” in an effort to give the newcomers a positive impression.

The dirt pathway that goes in front of our apartment complex and between houses and the Yochien is now called West Gutter Pass. It goes East-West and there’s an open gutter on one side. The “West” is actually an acronym for Wakakusa English School Teachers. Nice, huh?!

The large road (TWO designated lanes!!! And TWO street lights!) that lights the path to many shopping places, our favorite sushi restaurant, and the former karaoke business is called “Big Stuff Boulevard.”

The back road to the Eki is called "The Back Road to the Eki."

The road that parallels the river on the South side is called “River Road.”

The road going up to the Mountain Park is called….yeah, you know it. 

There are some things that Japan does name, like their food products. Unfortunately we can actually read the labels because many of them are in English. We wish they weren’t.

“Aloe” is a popular type of drink. They don’t lie when they picture little chunks of aloe on the label…that is definitely what’s inside. It’s usually paired with something such as “White Grape and Aloe.” It’s distributed by Minute Maid and is actually quite good if you can get over the fact that you’re eating chunks of aloe plant…in a drink. It's like when you're dunking cookies in your glass of milk and when you get the bottom you have to whack the bottom of the glass so the crumbs will fall into your mouth. Same idea with the aloe. I wish they sold them in the states.  
“Mitsuya Cider” this is a clear drink sold in a clear bottle. It’s distributed by Asahi, a popular beer company. Keep in mind that beer is legal to sell in a vending machine. This drink is in fact some kind of lightly flavored soda…probably a light Sprite flavor.  

“Calpis” (Kal-pee-s) is a drink sold in a tall silver can but I won’t tell you what we call it. Just say it a few times fast and maybe you’ll figure it out. I finally had some on accident yesterday and discovered that it tastes a lot like Fresca.
“Poccari Sweat.” Sounds delicious, right? It looks like cloudy water, and sold in a clear bottle. Shady…

I don’t really know what my point was with this whole thing. I guess I’m just pointing out yet another difference between America and Japan.

I love it.

I’m not going back.