You know, the longer I’m here the more I’m noticing. At first it was the obvious things. Now it’s just the everyday differences---and similarities—between Japan and America that keep a smile on my face and a question mark above my head.

Here are a few short memoirs in the past month:

1.     I joined a gym last week! It’s NOT a New Year’s resolution in case you’re wondering or judging my hypocrisy. It’s a substitution for not being able to run on the snowy, icy streets. I wasn’t going to join the gym because it’s sooooo expensive. I have to go to Koriyama which is a $10 round trip train fare. In travel alone, It takes me about 45 minutes to go to the gym…one way. The fee itself isn’t so bad: about $50 per month but on a 2 times/week limit. You do the math. Anyways, the deciding factor in the end was that they offered a zumba class on Friday’s. I’m so salsa deprived that I joined.

About the gym: looks like a normal Gold’s Gym (because it is) but all the treadmills are in Japanese. And the TV’s. And the instructions on the machines. And the weights are in kg. This is where the “let’s just try it” attitude comes in handy. The great part about this place is the camaraderie. Rachel has been going for the past 6 months and made some friends between the receptionist lady and the body builders. Just imagine how much two American girls stand out in the middle of the Japanese free weight section. There are several guys who have no fear, just come up to us and start talking (sometimes in limited English, sometimes in Japanese).

They’re all pretty hot, just going to put that out there.

The evening is always filled with laughter and lots of man-grunts across the room. It’s weird to see all these skinny Japanese guys at the gym, barely broad enough to qualify as a wide receiver, intensely working out like they’re going to the Olympics. Anyways, I joined this zumba class. Obviously I’m the white girl, but I thought I had a chance considering my salsa background.

Nope. I was the most ungraceful, unbalanced, uncoordinated person out there.

Good news is that is was super fun and the instructor is awesomely peppy and encouraging.

More good news: I went to my second zumba class the other day and noticeably improved.

The one different thing about the Japanese gym is that when you leave you say goodbye to everyone in a fashion that resembles “you are all working hard.” In Japan we say it ALL the time at work, “gokurosamadesu.”  Basically you’re acknowledging that everyone else is working and you’re leaving….hence you should feel obligation or at least say that you recognize your lack of work. It’s weird, but kind of nice.

2.     Train stories: Since I’ve been taking the train more often with Rachel I’ve seen some crazy characters. First my pet peeve: people who are sitting in seats with their junk all over the seat across from them or next to them when 50 people are standing up because it’s crowded. Hey lady, there’s an overhead rack for your shopping bags. Since I’m standing, let me put them up for you and then maybe I can take a seat on this half-hour journey.

There’s the overworked business man who sits politely with his briefcase against his knees, head bowed to his chest as he tries to take a little nap. This is not to be confused with the drunken businessman, usually seen on Fridays. You can tell them apart because the latter will smell like beer and tilts his head back to take a nap, mouth hanging open and sometimes listing perilously to the oblivious high school girl sitting next to him texting on her cell phone.

While walking to the train station Rachel and I saw a man up ahead coming our way. It was snowy and dark, lit only by some streetlights and residual Christmas decorations.  All of a sudden the man walks to the hedge between the sidewalk and the street and toe-kicks it, sending a flurry of snow into the air. He kept walking as before, only to again decide that it was much to fun the first time and again kicked the snow-laden bushes to his amusement…and ours. This time he veered to correct his course and as we passed him the distinct scent of booze wafted our way. I’m not sure how many poor bushes were abused on his way home but at least he was enjoying himself.

You know when you do something a million times and you feel like you could write a book on it, do it with your eyes closed or in your sleep? Well, riding the train is one of those things. I’ve only been here 9 months and don’t think twice about it. Imagine the Japanese who have practically lived on the train schedule in Funehiki. Well, apparently things can still go wrong. There we were, Rachel and I, on our way home from the gym and we see some cocky high school kids riding a few seats back. There was a girl about their age, standing by the door completely engaged in her smart phone activities. As the train pulled into the next station several people got up to leave, including our rambunctious characters. As they passed the girl and stepped halfway out of the train the door closed. A kid stuck his arm in the way to stop it, only to realize that this door was not your typical apologetic elevator door. Elevators serve people who are too lazy to walk up the stairs and have all the time in the world, therefore lightly closing their doors and promptly opening again if met with resistance from the smallest child. “Oh! I’m so sorry little child!” The elevator door might exclaim. “Are you hurt? Should I call the fire department on my little red phone? Here, let me open my doors again for you.”

Not the Japanese train doors.

They’re ruthless, punctual, and unforgiving.

“Outta my way!” Demands the Japanese train door. “I have a schedule to keep and you need to FALL IN LINE, PRIVATE!”

If you wish to override this door all you have to do is push the “ping pong” button---that’s the sound it makes. It’s like magic. But if you don’t push the button and think you can make it on your own strength you’re terribly mistaken.

Back to our young friends: stuck in the door. They struggled with the train door, hollering at each other and trying to force it open wide enough to escape. It would have been a terrible sight indeed if not for the comical figure in this scene. Yes, our young female heroine standing right next to that precious green release button.

You forgot that she was texting.

Yes, she stared at that screen and completely ignored the dying boys right in front of her. After a few seconds of watching their fruitless efforts Rachel and I were about to get up and push it ourselves, when finally she glanced over the top of her screen, sighed, and nonchalantly pushed the “open” button only to resume her previous task. The expression “idiots…” was written all over her face.

Hilarious.

Oh, one more awesome thing I learned about the train. If you buy a train pass, it’s super easy to just flash it in front of the reader and it will automatically deduct from your account. But did you know that you can have the card in your wallet, put it against the reader and it will detect it?! Super awesome and convenient. Not only am I never going to buy another train ticket, I also never have to open my wallet. Yessssss.

Anyways, that’s the train.

What else have I done…oh yes, the New Years luncheon with Enchou Sensei. As promised before break he took us all out to a nice restaurant that served traditional New Years food. It was littered with different kinds of fish, octopus, veggies in sauces, soup (nabe), and different kinds of mochi. There were many other things that I can’t even remember or describe, but the greatest part was Enchou Sensei.
“Ah, minasan, please order something to drink. You can have anything. Please order some beer or nihonshu (sake). We always drink it with the New Years meal.”

He ordered oolong tea. His wife ordered ginger ale.

It was 11:00am. No way I’m drinking alcohol on an empty stomach and early in the day. I ordered oolong tea too.

“Susie-san, you’re drinking tea?”

“Yes. I like oolong tea.”

“Why don’t you have some sake or beer?”

“Um, thank you, but it’s a little early to drink for me…”

He laughed but didn’t seem satisfied with my answer.

Is that so weird? Apparently no one cares what time of day it is around here—drinking is justified by the occasion, not the action.

3.     Around the town

Today I made coconut rum banana bread. Yes, it was everything I hoped for and super delicious.

Today I woke up to the sound of skateboarding at like, 6:30 am and though, “Gosh! Dan! Why do you have to wake up so early?!” And then I realized, it was snowing yesterday and a good chance that there was still some snow/ice on the ground. Boy was I right. It had continued to snow throughout the night and everything was painted white. Turns out the noise was the yochien workers shoveling the driveway for Saturday school.

Dan and I made a snow-bunny.

I currently have several books open: Reading Lolita in Tehran, Miss Marple, おきゃくさま,  Diary of a Wimpy Kid (in Japanese), Emma, The Bible, and The Case for Christ. I’m one book shy of finishing another CS Lewis series but I haven’t started it yet. Trying to pace myself, you know.

Let’s not even count how many gospel choir composition projects I’ve started or are running around in my head.

In teaching news, my 6th graders are taking a big English test today, one they’ve been studying for since September. I’ve only had them once a week for the past 6 months, their other class dedicated solely for this exam. This coming week I’ll have both 6th grade classes twice a week again. I hope they are ready for it. 

I came home, what more do you want!!!

Okay, okay, otoosan started making his famous hommade miso from scratch. I learned that the miso we've been eating is 2-3 years old...yes, that's how long it takes to ferment. 

So, this batch will be put in the cellar pantry for the next few years. 

Gaaaaahhh! It’s too early for this. I’m getting old.

It’s 5:45 am and I set my alarm late last night…not that I slept very well. In fact, I tried to put myself to sleep by attempting to sing the alphabet backwards. This is a feat that I attempted several times but lost interest and never truly accomplished. I can now sing it with considerable ease, thanks to the hour I devoted to it while trying to get to sleep.

Yes, today is Disneyland day.

I was disappointed to find out that Otoosan was not joining us, as he had been super busy with New Year’s things the past several days and never really got to rest during his precious vacation time. But, being the generous and kind person he is, he got up early just to drive me, Takae, Yuko, and Okaasan across the Rainbow Bridge spanning the Tokyo Bay and to the doorstep of Disneyland where dreams apparently come true.

They better not have a backwards alphabet ride here or I’m gonna be freaked out.

The first matter of the day: Starbucks. Now that I’m toting a tall soy chai latte I’m ready for anything, already forgetting the early hour I awoke.

Takae had bought tickets at a place in town the day before so all we have to do is stand in the turnstile line. Ha. It’s taking forever. There were mobs of people. I figured as much, considering the New Year holiday and that Japanese people absolutely love Disneyland. Any special event that Disneyland advertises, you have to go check it out.

What? Special Christmas lights in December? Guess we have to go! (Even though we saw it last year).

What? Mickey and Minnie are dressing in Kimonos for New Years? Gotta see that. Again.

Say that again?! They have ~th anniversary popcorn buckets this Spring? We’re going. Again.

Yep, it’s pretty much like that.

So we finally get into the park and *cue music * magically I become transformed into a little kid. 

Takae asks me what I want to do. Without hesitation I say “Space Mountain and Pirates of the Caribbean.” She grabs all of our tickets and runs off to get a “fast pass,” leaving us in the entry garden of the theme park. Yuko and I took this opportunity for some cleverly staged photos of me and Walt Disney.

We meet up with Takae at the entrance to Pirates and I explain my desire to ride it.

“When I was five,” I reminisced, “I went on this ride with my brother and aunt and uncle. I got totally freaked out by the waterfall and the guy sitting on a wall with a pistol. I’m determined to overcome that horrible memory.”

We’re riding in the boat (the back this time, not the front) and it’s not scary. In fact it is quite entertaining watching the fireflies zoom about, and notice the similarities between the ride and my favorite movie.

We pass the old man sitting on a rocking chair.

We pass pirates looting a village.

We pass Captain Barbosa looking for Jack Sparrow.

Wait? Jack Sparrow? I don’t remember that part….Johnny Depp wasn’t in the last version of this ride…

We approach the guy shooting his pistol. I’ve been preparing my revenge my whole life.

I take out my imaginary pistol, folding my fingers into a gun and fire right back at him taunting with my best pirate face.

From the left! From the right! Yaarrrrr!!!!

Got him through the cheekbone.

I feel much better.

I enter the pirates store after exiting the ride and find the pirate hat with Mickey ears suits me well. I eventually buy it in honor of myself overcoming something stupid. 

We take our fast passes and stand in the much shorter 20 minute line for our admission. We sit in the front!!!

It’s pretty amazing, whipping around the stars without a clue as to which way we’re headed. I loved the breeze blowing past my face in a “kimochiiiiiiii!!!!” moment.

Now that my two goals are accomplished I’m ready for anything. That “anything” includes 3 buckets of different flavored popcorn: honey, curry, and chocolate. Spread throughout the day, of course. We eat lunch in the second most creepy place: kingdom of hearts. Or is it the Queen of Hearts’ kingdom? I really don’t know, but that whole Alice thing is whacked out.

Let’s take some fun pictures with the guards so I feel better about it. Okay. 

I’m going to choose a chicken salad and cream of corn soup for lunch today…it’s just cold enough to warrant soup. Mmmm….delicious. Takae is asleep after eating so we wait for her.

We see a few interesting shows, one with dancers (with REAL foreigners!) and another featuring 3D Donald Duck trying to conduct the orchestra. Pretty entertaining.

We go to the Christmas Haunted House, basically A Nightmare Before Christmas in ride form.

Takae asks if I want to go on Star Tours. DUH!!! That’s one of the few good memories I have of Disneyland. I love this ride. I enjoy it once again. 

Do I want to go on It’s a Small World? No, not really. But we go anyways since Takae is enamored with the artist who conceived the original idea and color scheme. I decided to take a video, inserting satirical remarks the whole way. It made the ride a little more interesting and a little less creepy, but it’s still at the top of the creepy list for me.

We sit in a prime spot, in the outside café section overlooking the river and view of Cinderella’s night-lite castle as Mickey’s illuminated parade goes marching musically by.

Then I saw him.

Holding my shoe.

Waiting….no, searching for me, his lost love.

I call out to him. “Prince Charming! It’s me! I’m over here!”

I wave my arms in the air, standing up above the railing.

He sees me. He waves back encouragingly.

My heart races and I know that we will be forever united in perfect happiness ever after.

Then he looks the other way and leaves, not even bothering to give me my shoe back. How rude.

I guess dreams really DON’T come true here.

False advertising.

We watch the fireworks grace the blue roofs of the castle and decide on one final attraction before Dad comes to pick us up. (Isn’t he so nice?!)

Do I like Michael Jackson? No, not particularly.

But, Okaasan is particularly interested so we go inside the theater building and pick up a pair of 3D glasses once again. Actually, there is a neat documentary on how they made the movie playing in the lobby that we watch to pass the time.

We sit down. I’m surprised but pleased to listen to the movie in English!!! Wow. What a treat.

As soon as I hear his voice I crack up. I’m the only one laughing.

I try to contain myself but then he starts quoting Star Wars lines and I just can’t help myself, practically crying over the hilarity of “Captain EO.” He’s now officially on my list of singers who shouldn’t be actors. I just can’t take him seriously.

It’s late. We leave. We all sleep in the car on the way home. 

Remember watching that movie, “2012?”

I don’t.

I never saw it.

But, from what I heard it’s about the end of the world. Something about the Mayan calendar being all written out until a specific date in 2012, and when that date occurred the world ripped apart into pieces from ginormous natural disasters. Apparently the Mayans were astute students of the stars and predicted the end of the world to that date---hence, the reason the calendar only reaches to that point. Another theory is that some poor guy charged with writing a 2000-year calendar by carving it into stone got bored and figured no one from his clan would be living to know the difference so he stopped.

Well, imagine our surprise when we got ourselves all cleaned up after breakfast and drove over an hour to the relatives’ house. While eating our expensive sushi lunches everything started to shake, ushering the New Year in with a 7.0 earthquake. Actually, it only registered a 4 on a scale of 0-7 were we were located, but it was still a little creepy watching the branches sway outside…and on the plants inside.

This would fit very nicely into the Mayan conspiracy theory…only because it’s just that. A conspiracy. Japan has earthquakes every day.

In the interest of time I’m going to shorten things up a bit.

We ate expensive sushi. Like this:

Grandma was especially nice and gifted us all with some money. It’s a tradition usually reserved for children, not working adults. I guess we lucked out this year because Ojiichan gave us some money too! On top of that, some different relatives visited us on the 2nd, and THOSE relatives gave us money as well!!! I was super surprised.

On the 2nd, Yuko and I joined Otoosan for a morning run and spent the rest of the day eating, cleaning a little, napping, and visiting with the relatives. We busted out the karaoke set and I was surprised to see a long list of English songs….all nursery rhymes! Oh yes, from Old MacDonald to Twinkle Twinkle to Oh, Susannah! to the Hokey Pokey, the selection was astounding. I lucked out enough to find Ave Maria (which I sang in my most obnoxious tenor voice) and The Ants Go Marching. We had fun. More fun was to be had when they were getting ready to go, after we played one round of spoons. I taught them the game but it turned out most of them knew it. Well, one round of 4 girls turned into 15 rounds of the entire family grabbing (you guessed it) mikkans from the center of the table.

. . . . . . 


At the moment we’re selecting articles to take with us to Disneyland tomorrow. Got to go to bed for the big day!!!